I get asked which books I recommend reading when it comes to parenting. I find personally that blogs are easier for me to follow and get information but here are the top 5 books I recommend:
contains affiliate links
The number one book I recommend is Alfie Kohn’s Unconditional Parenting. This covers so much and is really hard to argue with! It’s clear and no nonsense and really works on the founding reasons for respectful parenting. If I was going to recommend one book only it would be this!
“In short, with each of the thousand-and-one problems that present themselves in family life, our choice is between controlling and teaching, between creating an atmosphere of distrust and one of trust, between setting an example of power and helping children to learn responsibility, between quick-fix parenting and the kind that’s focused on long-term goals.” – Alfie Kohn.
You can purchase this from Amazon or I get my books from Book Depository.
I also love another of Alfie Kohn’s books called Punished by Rewards. I’ve shared previously about how helpful I found his point of view in processing my perfectionism and praise dependency. I find Alfie’s works so helpful in providing perspective and research.
“Some who support [more] coercive strategies assume that children will run wild if they are not controlled. However, the children for whom this is true typically turn out to be those accustomed to being controlled— those who are not trusted, given explanations, encouraged to think for themselves, helped to develop and internalize good values, and so on. Control breeds the need for more control, which is used to justify the use of control.” – Alfie Kohn.
You can purchase this from Amazon or I get my books from Book Depository.
A hugely helpful book for all relationships is Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenburg. This book can be really confronting if you’re new to respectful communication. It really helped me learn how to identify needs and work through how to communicate in effective and peaceful ways.
“All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.” – Marshall B Rosenberg.
You can purchase this from Amazon or I get my books from Book Depository.
I adore the work of Rebecca Eanes and she has a helpful book called Positive Parenting.
“So often, children are punished for being human. Children are not allowed to have grumpy moods, bad days, disrespectful tones, or bad attitudes, yet we adults have them all the time! We think if we don’t nip it in the bud, it will escalate and we will lose control. Let go of that unfounded fear and give your child permission to be human. We all have days like that. None of us are perfect, and we must stop holding our children to a higher standard of perfection than we can attain ourselves. All of the punishments you could throw at them will not stamp out their humanity, for to err is human, and we all do it sometimes.” – Rebecca Eanes.
You can purchase this from Amazon or I get my books from Book Depository.
Another great reading regarding intentional living and parenting is Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne. In a world that asks more and more of us and expects so much in the way of consumerism and time, this book is refreshing and thought provoking.
“As parents we also define ourselves by what we bring our attention and presence to. This is easy to forget when daily life feels more like triage. By eliminating some of the clutter in our lives we can concentrate on what we really value, not just what we’re buried under, or deluged with.” – Kim John Payne.
You can purchase this from Amazon or I get my books from Book Depository.
_______
P.S. Next Saturday at 8PM AEST I’m going to host my first live Q & A video chat! If all goes well and you love it I’ll try to host these regularly.
Join the live event HERE!
If you have any questions you’d like me to answer post them I’ve read on Facebook!
I hope you find these recommendations helpful!
A great list!
Really enjoying your posts at the moment. I have three girls aged 5, 3 and 7 weeks and I hope to unschool them. I’ve just ordered three of your recommendations, unfortunately ‘Nonviolent Communication’ wasn’t available at Book Depository but I’ll keep an eye out for it.
Hi, I’ll be looking to see if some of these books are available in our library, thank you. Have you found any good books about brain development in children? I want something to help me understand what’s happening with my children’s brains, and therefore what it’s reasonable of me to expect in their understanding, impulse control, empathy etc. Thanks :-)