Ava’s pregnancy was an intense time. From normal things like nausea early on to pelvic pain later in pregnancy. To out of the ordinary life-altering things like my continued struggle with mental health and my husband being diagnosed with cancer and having surgery… Things were intense. Her birth was no different, but in the best possible way.
Leading up to Ava’s arrival I lost my plug and had prodromal labour a few times. I have had prodromal labour with every pregnancy so far. Each time this happened was at night where I had intense surges that definitely felt like the real deal but fizzled to nothing within a few hours.
As I moved past the 40 week mark I began to realise it was at least in part my anxieties holding me back. On the morning of birth I called my midwife and she gave me a really helpful pep talk. I decided to release my expectations and go on a big walk (pokemoning) around a lake with Mike, Cameron and Lucy.
4:30PM Half way around the lake I started getting pretty intense surges from seemingly no where. I joked that I would be the woman who birthed at a pokestop. We finished the lap of the lake and went home ‘just in case’. The surges still felt like they did when I had the false labours.
5:30PM Mike bought me in dinner and the kids and him ate dinner at the dining table. I set myself up alone on a birth ball in the lounge room watching one of my favourite shows with intense surges. The kids gave me big kisses and left the room to give me space. The surges intensified and I asked Mike to set up my diffuser with a labour blend and only had a himalayan salt lamp for light.
6:00PM I uploaded pictures to Instagram and Facebook of our walk.
6:30PM Suddenly I felt agitated by everything – all noises, light, smells, clutter… everything was annoying me. I sent my friends a message with curse words and “ow”.
6:45PM I told Mike to contact my support team and asked for him to run me a bath.The surges were taking my breath away and rolling fast.
7:00PM Almost immediately in the bath I felt overwhelmed with the intensity of the surges. My back-up midwife arrived soon after and there were barely breaks between surges. I remember thinking even if I wanted to that I could never get out of the bath and get in a car and go to the hospital (hahah).
7:15PM I started to say “I can’t do this”. Each surge was so intense and I was sure I had hours to go as my previous labours were 16 hours long. I knew I couldn’t handle this level of pain for long.
My midwife arrived and I felt relieved. I said to her “I can’t do this!” with pleading eyes. She told me “you are doing this” and said “your baby is coming very soon!”
Despite having that crisis of confidence, at the same time I was thinking to myself “you’re so strong, you’ve been through so much, you are doing this” as the surges took over my being. I kept repeating “be gentle with yourself” and “release, release, release”. I was sure I had hours of this to work through.
7:20PM My midwife felt the bath water temperature and said it was too hot for baby to be born in and asked if I wanted to hop out. I simply barked “no” and got out of the bath. My midwife turned off the light and got prepared. I sat on the toilet and felt pressure and alerted the midwives.
I stood up in an awkward squat beside the bath as I felt Ava move through me. I felt such ecstatic relief! This was happening NOW! My midwife asked if baby was coming and I said excitedly “she is, she’s coming” and my back-up midwife went to Mike and the kids in the room where they were getting ready to sleep because he too assumed I had hours of labour ahead of me.
7:25PM My midwife yelled out “baby’s heads out” as Ava crowned with her waters still intact. Mike, Cameron and Lucy watched on as my waters broke on our bathroom floor. I breathed as Ava turned inside me and my body birthed her perfectly.
I didn’t push, I simply had to let my body do her job as I breathed. Ava felt more solid than my other babies, her shoulders and torso were more prominent than her head.
As my family watched on I reached down as my midwife helped hand her to me and I sat down on the toilet beaming. Ava made no noise and was seemingly sleeping but started to breath on her own.
She was covered in vernix and so warm. I still remember how perfect she felt in my arms and how she smelt.
All photos are from the incredible Jen Shipston from The He{art} of Motherhood
I couldn’t believe it! That was FAST! I kept exclaiming how easy that was and how we needed to have ten more babies! Haha!
After only moments I heard my best friend and photographer arrive one after the other saying “she’s here, isn’t she?” I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face.
I had help to move with Ava to a mattress in our living area where Mike and the kids were glued to me and our stunning new squishy family member.
The kids were so elated and were cuddling each other and laughing. We all took our time to map her gorgeous little body and hold her tiny fingers.
Ava continued to rest as we all excitedly caught up and my midwife did checks and Ava had skin-to-skin.
It was over an hour before I birthed the placenta and cut the cord. Lucy was fascinated!
Once Ava and I were separate, she had a big feed. Oh how I missed breastfeeding!
Watching Mike have skin to skin with her while I showered was magical. What a year he had had and this was such a moment!
I can’t explain in words how magical this all was. The evening rolled on slowly and beautifully as we all got to know this tiny new human.
Lucy was in a word, obsessed. And it hasn’t really changed 10 months on. We are all head over heels for this sweet girl!
Lucy with ‘gloves’ on to be like my midwife.
That night I slept with Ava on our own bed out near the fire as it was winter. My first homebirth was such a transformative and healing process. I knew it would be lovely and so much easier for my anxiety being in familiar surrounds and with a support team I trusted… But I couldn’t have comprehended the impact.
I will let the video (also by The He{art} of Motherhood) do the talking (warning: nudity)
That’s a beautiful story and I only hope something like that is in my future. We had the complete opposite and so I feel scared for any future pregnancies, births and children. Cherish it!
Absolutely beautiful and emotional. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Sooooo beautiful.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful birth. I had my second at home and it was worlds away from how the first one went in hospital – home was so much more peaceful and comfortable. And lovely to see how your older children were part of it too.
Wow! So beautiful, your video made me tear up! ❤
Beautiful. There is nothing like birthing at home. I had 3 of my 4 at home. There is not many experiences that can compare. I too experienced a deeper level of healing with each homebirth. My kids were so fascinated to be able to welcome their sibling into the family. My oldest was super fascinated with the placenta and our midwife took the time to examine it together with the children and explained all the details to them.