Sleep is a hot topic and I’ve been reading some awesome posts lately about respecting autonomous children and sleep! I wanted to share a quick round up of some of the best reads I have seen regarding banishing bedtimes and respecting children!
photo by Sara
In no specific order, here are ten helpful reads about children and sleep!
1 – Is Self Soothing The Biggest Con of Modern Parenting? by Tracy at Raised Good.
“If we can be convinced to disengage with our babies, where does it end? Unknowingly, we allow cultural beliefs to set the stage for a lifetime of disconnection.”
Closely related is a brilliant post about self-regulation at all ages by Jess from Jitterberry.
2 – Why We Ditched Bedtime! by Sara at Happiness is here.
“Once again we got another lesson in trust. We have had it many times before but I guess we needed it again. Parenting for me has been a gradual letting go of ‘the way it’s always been done’ and questioning why we do the things we do. Why do we need to have a set bed time? We don’t. I don’t get tired at the same time every night, and it is extremely difficult for me to get to sleep before I’m ready. Why on earth would I think it was any different for children? Children CAN be trusted to know their own bodies and make their own decisions, if they are allowed that right.”
3 – Reducing The Bedtime Burden by Jess at Jitterberry.
“What if it wasn’t the time it took that was the issue but how you were approaching that time.”
4 – 8 Reasons NOT to Give Kids a Bedtime by Sara at Happiness is here.
“Bedtime doesn’t have to be a struggle or a fight. Instead, it can be an opportunity to support a child’s autonomy and learning about themselves.”
5 – 8 Misconceptions About Children NOT Having a Bedtime by Sara at Happiness is here.
“People wonder how kids will get enough sleep, what age kids are capable of making this decision, that children are running the house, and what about routine? All understandable concerns considering our society’s beliefs about children and their capabilities. But children are so very trustworthy, capable, and deserving of respect. So why let fear hold you back? Let them show you!”
6 – Sleeping Through The Night by Jess at Jitterberry.
“I have seen people cautioned, many a time, about how this sort of dynamic is never-ending. A child who feeds to sleep will never be able to sleep through the night because they are dependent upon this association with the breast to settle and cannot do so themselves.
It really does sound plausible and it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. Many who are cautioned, believe the warnings and act based on this proposed conclusion, therefore their children are not given the opportunity to demonstrate otherwise. This then reinforces the story as it is passed along to other parents.”
7 – The Family Bed Gets You More Sleep (and other benefits!) by Lucy at Lulastic and the Hippyshake.
“My primary aim as a mother is connection. I feel that if my children can trust me, communicate with me, feel secure in our relationship, then I know they can get through anything. They will have a resilience for life. This parenting philosophy carries on after sundown. They will feel my breathing as they stir from a bad dream, they will hear my validation as they murmur their upsets, all until they are ready not to.”
8 – What Does Bedtime Look Like For Autonomous Kids? by Sara at Happiness is here.
“What does bedtime look like in a family where there is no enforced bedtime? How does it come about? Is there any routine?
It’s hard to imagine if you’ve never experienced it, but it’s really not complicated at all.”
9 – Let’s Nurture Babies Who Won’t Have to Recover from Sleep Training by Tracy at Raised Good.
“It’s a misguided cultural expectation, which prioritizes the evolving adult-centred values of our society over the burning needs of our children.”
10 – 20 Ways to a Better Bedtime by Lucy at Lulastic and the Hippyshake.
“What does bedtime look like for children where:
1- keeping the connection between parent and child is an utmost priority
2- letting our children tune in to their body’s needs and respond to it is a priority
3- a child’s rights are observed (i.e – not coerced to do something with their body that they don’t want to do)
4- a child’s needs are met (i.e – they aren’t forced to go without connection, to face fears of the dark alone, forced to forgo food and drink)”
These all had me nodding along and are so helpful! I hope you enjoyed them too.
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Thank you for reading!
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I’m curious about this bedtime stuff. As it is we have to be awake at a certain time and if we are not in bed at a certain time things go haywire in t morning. How can one allow autonomy with bedtime without messing up mornings or the rest of the day for that matter with an exhausted child.